I never know where to start when I begin to write but every time I do something rather interesting comes to light. Maybe its because I am truly afraid to speak my mind or simply because I have so many things running through this simple mind of mines at once that I am naturally bound to forget what was really of importance.

Drowning in Self (June 2012)

Drowning in Self

Head slightly above water and yet I still feel the pressure

Lungs slowly filling up weighing down my once weightless body

Drowning in my thoughts is a scary feeling

Nowhere to run 

Nowhere to hide

Water all around me

gripping me tight like a mother to her child at first sight

Head slightly above water and yet I still feel the pressure

Now I'm sinking and my life is slowly ending

Darkness surrounds my being though eyes remain wide

This cannot be the end, not at this time

Life has too much to offer to end in this moment

Take a step out of time to live in THIS moment

Head slightly above water and yet I still feel the pressure

Life is an unfair journey and I refuse to fold under pressure.

Dilemmas (April 2012)

Why do I always end up with the partner that has so much damn potential but no drive or emotion for themselves? They wanna push and support me but when it comes to them and what they are good at, I have to sit back and tolerate the fuckery that is their attitude. “It comes with the territory,” but unfortunately my territory is protected by the most high, almost immune to your instant vexing mood. The more you add to my stress the less of me you can keep to your self. So until you understand that I have an opinion too, I have no comment about anything you want to do. Do what you think is the thing to do and I shall continue to follow my heart. I thought I was in it to win it, No I know i’m in it to win it, but at the rate we are going, you are gonna do more damage than good to our relationship because everything is your way or no way at all. In life we must make compromises in order to survive. I know because I am the princess of compromises. Life is full of genuine dilemmas and my present day life proves this statement true. I don’t wanna do any of the things that i’m doing but I feel in a way obligated to do them because there is no other way. “life is too damn short,” I continue to tell myself, yet you always seem to find a way under my skin and into the impatient portion of my brain, leaving me back at square one. Upset and confused about NOTHING! So the question still remains, why do I end up with the same partner !?